I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
