I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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