im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
