ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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