oh god the rape fog is back!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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