I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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