i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
