There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I smell stomach acid.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who died my cat blue again?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
