East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
