When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize