I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
