I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
