I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
