the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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