Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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