i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you win again, gameday.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
