coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
