You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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