people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
