When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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