I'm so fucking centered right now
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
