just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
