i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
