oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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