He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you bring me the toilet please
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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