so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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