just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A+ Viking dick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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