made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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