Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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