is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
