I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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