:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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