Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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