I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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