just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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