I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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