o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
