I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize