Fuck appropriateness.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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