Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
