The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
