I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize