i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
