wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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