i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
