Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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