I love black thongs
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
