Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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