I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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