508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
