So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
