Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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