Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
