can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize