Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
