i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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