I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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