Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The struggles of a small town man whore
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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