If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize