I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
